Have you ever found yourself trapped in an endless loop of overanalysis, wondering, “Am I making the right decision?” If you ended up here, I’m guessing the answer is yes.
Maybe you’ve spent hours debating between two choices, overthinking every possible outcome. Or maybe you’ve avoided making a decision altogether because the fear of getting it wrong was just too much. Sound familiar?
I get it. I’ve been there too.
I used to believe that if I just thought hard enough, I’d land on the perfect decision. I’d make endless pro-con lists, replay conversations in my head, and consume every article, podcast, and expert take I could find—convinced that more information would bring more clarity.
Spoiler alert: It didn’t.
Instead, I was more anxious than ever. I’d make a decision, only to second-guess it the next day. Sometimes, I’d avoid making any decision at all—becoming a passive observer in my own life.
Don’t get me wrong – I learned a lot of cool sh*t thanks to all the stuff I was reading and listening to (lol). But, I was also massively burnt out and frustrated with my lack of clarity.
So if you’re feeling stuck, let me reassure you: You’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not incapable of making good decisions.
The problem isn’t that you don’t know how to make decisions—it’s that fear and perfectionism have hijacked your ability to trust yourself.
So let’s break that cycle. I’m going to walk you through exactly how to make decisions with clarity, confidence, and less stress.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
- Am I Making the Right Decision? 5 Signs You’re On the Right Track
- What People Get Wrong About Making Decisions (And Why You Still Feel Stuck)
- I’m Afraid of Making the Wrong Decisions – Why Don’t I Trust Myself?
- The Decision-Making Process That Actually Works (Backed by Psychology)
- What If I Make the Wrong Decision?
- Why Do I Feel Bad for Making the Right Decision?
- Making Confident Decisions is a Process—Let’s Do It Together
Am I Making the Right Decision? 5 Signs You’re On the Right Track
If you’re here, you’re probably searching for some kind of reassurance—a sign that you’re making the right choice.
While decision-making isn’t always black and white, here are five indicators that you’re likely on the right path:
✅ Your decision aligns with your core values. Even if it’s difficult, it feels like the right move for you.
✅ You feel relief, even if you’re nervous. Fear and excitement feel the same in the body—pay attention to whether you’re scared because it’s new, or because it’s wrong.
✅ You’re not choosing out of fear, but from clarity. You’re not just avoiding discomfort—you’re making a choice that supports growth.
✅ You’re okay with the fact that no choice is perfect. If you’re expecting 100% certainty, you’ll always feel stuck.
✅ You can take a step forward without overthinking. You may still feel unsure, but you’re able to move forward instead of staying paralyzed.
But here’s where most people get stuck…
What People Get Wrong About Making Decisions (And Why You Still Feel Stuck)
If you’ve ever searched for advice on decision-making, you’ve probably heard things like:
✔️ “Trust your gut.”
✔️ “Just weigh the pros and cons.”
✔️ “Gather more information until you’re sure.”
And sure, sometimes those strategies work. But what about when they don’t?
What if you can’t tell the difference between fear and intuition?
What if you make a decision that felt right… only to second-guess it the next day?
What if researching every possible angle only makes you feel more overwhelmed?
The Problem With Conventional Decision-Making Advice
Most people get stuck because they’re overwhelmed with too much information. They rely too much on logic, overthinking every detail. Or they depend solely on intuition, which can be clouded by fear, past experiences, and self-doubt.
🔹 The “Trust Your Gut” Myth
Intuition can be powerful, but if you have a history of anxiety, trauma, or people-pleasing, your gut feeling may not actually be intuition—it might be fear masquerading as instinct. If you’ve ever made a choice that felt “right” in the moment but led to regret later, you know exactly what I mean.
🔹 The Overreliance on Pro-Con Lists
Logical reasoning is helpful, but pro-con lists don’t take into account how a decision feels. I believe all us have the resources within us to make good decisions, but we often ignore our own inner guidance system. You might have 10 pros for one choice and only 5 for another, yet something inside tells you that the second option is the one you need to take. That’s because not all pros and cons carry the same weight emotionally—and your nervous system knows that, even if your brain doesn’t.
🔹 The “More Information Will Help” Trap
The idea that you need more data before making a choice can be a form of avoidance disguised as preparation. The truth is, certainty is a myth—you’ll never have 100% of the information, and waiting for it only keeps you stuck.
The real reason many people struggle with making decisions isn’t because they lack intelligence or insight—it’s because they don’t trust themselves.
And that’s what we need to address in order to make decisions that are right for us.
I’m Afraid of Making the Wrong Decisions – Why Don’t I Trust Myself?
If you’ve ever felt completely stuck when it comes to making a decision, I can assure you, there’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, there’s a perfectly normal process going on in your brain that’s making decision-making difficult.
Decision paralysis is a normal brain response to overwhelm and fear. Your mind isn’t broken—it’s just operating in survival mode.
When we’re afraid of making the wrong decision, our nervous system goes into overdrive. The fight-or-flight response kicks in, flooding our body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones are great if we’re running from danger—but not so great for logical thinking and decision-making.
Fear is sneaky. It disguises itself as rational caution, when really, it’s just keeping us trapped. It’s what convinces us that we need more time, more information, more certainty before making a move.
But the truth? Fear is holding us back.
Here are a few of the reasons you might be struggling with making a decision:
🔹 Fear of Failure & Rejection – We tell ourselves that making the wrong choice will lead to disaster. Maybe we’ll embarrass ourselves, maybe we’ll disappoint someone, or maybe we’ll confirm our deepest fear—that we’re not good enough.
🔹 The Perfectionism Trap – For many of us, the idea of making a mistake feels unacceptable. If we don’t get it right, does that mean we failed? Does it mean we are a failure? Perfectionism distorts our thinking and makes every decision feel life-or-death.
🔹 The Belief That We Have to Get It Perfect – Those of us with perfectionist tendencies don’t just want to make a good decision; we want to make the best decision. And if we can’t be 100% sure it’s the right one, we freeze.
🔹 We Expect the Worst – We create worst-case scenarios in our heads and convince ourselves they’re inevitable. Our brains love to tell us, ‘If you choose wrong, everything will fall apart.’
🔹 Past Decisions Still Haunt Us – Maybe you’ve made choices before that didn’t turn out well, and now you hesitate. You don’t trust yourself anymore. You think, ‘What if I screw it up again?’
🔹 Lack of Self-Trust Becomes a Habit – The more we avoid making decisions, the more we reinforce the belief that we can’t make good ones. As a neuroscientist might say, ‘what fires together, wires together’. The less we trust ourselves and the more we get stuck, the more it becomes a habit that’s hard to break away from. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: we hesitate, we don’t trust ourselves, and we stay stuck.
🔹We’re Afraid of Letting Someone Down – Sometimes, the fear of making a decision isn’t just about us—it’s about how it will affect other people. Will they be upset? Will they think we’re selfish? We end up putting everyone else’s needs ahead of our own, and in the process, we lose sight of what we actually want.
Over time, this pattern turns into avoidance and decision-making paralysis—the belief that we are incapable of choosing at all. But here’s the truth: you are not incapable. You are just caught in a cycle that you can break.
So, how do we start shifting out of fear and into trust?
In the next section, we’ll go over concrete strategies to help you rewire your brain and calm your nervous system—so you can make choices with clarity and confidence.
The Decision-Making Process That Actually Works (Backed by Psychology)
This is the moment you’ve been waiting for! If you’re still asking yourself, ‘am I making the right decision?’, following these steps should help you find some clarity.
Just remember, it takes practice, patience, and self-compassion, but with time, you can retrain your brain to make decisions with more ease. Here’s how:
1. Recognize Your Fear & Triggers
The first step is simply noticing when you’re stuck in fear mode. Are you procrastinating? Overanalyzing? Feeling overwhelmed? Acknowledge it without judgment—awareness is the first step toward change.
2. Calm Your Nervous System
When your brain is in overdrive, you need to regulate your nervous system before trying to force a decision. Try deep breathing exercises, a mindfulness meditation, or even a quick walk to reset your body. The more you’re able to regulate your body’s fight or flight response, the more you’ll be able to think clearly.
(If you’re unsure of how to regulate your nervous system, guided meditation can be a great place to start. Check out my free guided meditation series HERE.)
3. Set an Intention
Now that your nervous system is regulated, instead of obsessing over the right decision, shift your focus to the desired outcome. Ask yourself: What do I ultimately want to feel or achieve? For example, if you’re stuck between two jobs, instead of fixating on which one is “better,” anchor into what truly matters instead—maybe it’s job security, creativity, or flexibility. The idea is to connect with the end goal or feeling you’re trying to attain, instead of focusing on solutions.
4. Connect With the Part of You That’s Afraid
Rather than pushing away your fear, get curious about it. Try to notice where it shows up in your body, and what it feels like. Imagine speaking to your fear as if it were a younger version of yourself, and ask yourself, What am I really afraid of? What story am I telling myself about this decision? You’ll be amazed at how much information you’ll receive.
(This is exactly the kind of work we do inside my Perfectionism to Peace program—learning to connect with the parts of you that feel stuck, so you can move forward with more confidence and ease.)
5. Get Still and Listen
Once you start getting curious, and asking yourself big questions, you’ll start receiving answers. You just have to be still and listen. Be open and curious to whatever comes up, without judging it.
6. Ask What That Part of You Needs
As you start to connect with the parts of you that feel stuck, ask those parts, what would help them feel supported? Maybe you need reassurance, safety, permission to make a “wrong” choice, or just a reminder that no decision is final. Whatever it is, give yourself exactly what you need.
7. Show Yourself Compassion
Decision-making is hard—especially if you’ve been stuck for a long time. As you start to connect with the scared parts of yourself, thank them for showing you what they need and practice self-compassion. These parts are afraid for a reason, and they’re just trying to protect you. The more compassion you can show yourself, the easier it will become to move forward.
8. Give Yourself Time
Going through this process can result in immediate insights, but sometimes you’ll need more time to emotionally process everything. It’s okay to have uncertainty sometimes, and you don’t always need an answer right away. Give yourself some grace and permission to be uncertain…at least for a little while.
9. Choose Something and Move Forward
If you’re still uncertain even after giving yourself time to process, commit to making a choice. Even if you’re unsure, making some choice is usually better than none. Trust yourself enough to take a step forward, even if it’s not perfect.
10. Celebrate Your Wins
When you make difficult decisions that you’ve been avoiding, take a moment to recognize your progress. Don’t just give yourself empty affirmations, truly allow yourself to feel the progress. When you allow yourself to feel good about your progress, your brain learns that decision-making is safe. Allow the positive feelings to build when you follow through—doing this helps rewire your neural pathways for confidence.
11. Do It Consistently & Be Patient
Like any habit, decision-making gets easier with practice. Your brain is rewiring itself every time you take action, and every time you allow yourself to have positive feelings about that action. Keep showing up, and over time, it will become second nature.
What If I Make the Wrong Decision?
Even after doing the inner work, it’s completely normal to feel afraid of making the wrong decision. That fear is valid—decisions carry weight, and we don’t want to make choices we’ll regret. But here’s the thing: mistakes aren’t the end of the world.
Yes, there are some choices that have real consequences—those that cause harm to yourself or others, or decisions where the negative clearly outweighs the positive. That’s when it’s worth slowing down and really evaluating. But outside of those situations, most decisions are not as permanent or catastrophic as we imagine.
We often think in extremes: If I choose wrong, I’ll ruin everything. But the reality? Even if something doesn’t turn out how you hoped, you can pivot, learn, and choose again. Making mistakes is part of being human—it’s how we grow, refine our values, and learn what truly works for us.
Instead of asking, What if I make the wrong choice? try asking, What if this choice teaches me something valuable?
Shifting your mindset around mistakes can help ease the fear of making them in the first place.
Why Do I Feel Bad for Making the Right Decision?
So, you’ve finally made a decision. It aligns with your values, it feels right, and for a moment, you feel good about it.
But then—guilt creeps in. Doubt sneaks back. What if I upset someone? What if I should have chosen differently? Suddenly, even the right decision doesn’t feel as great as you thought it would.
Sound familiar? It happens to all of us, and it’s a totally normal part of the process. Here’s why:
The right choice is not always the easy choice. Sometimes, doing what’s best for you means setting a boundary, saying no, or making a choice that impacts someone else—and that can bring up guilt.
If you’ve spent years prioritizing other people’s needs over your own, choosing yourself might feel wrong, even when it isn’t.
Another reason? Self-sabotage and old wiring. If you have a history of self-destructive behaviors, avoidance, or self-sabotage, it might feel unnatural to make healthy, aligned decisions at first.
Your brain is wired for familiarity—so if chaos, indecision, or people-pleasing have been your defaults, making empowered choices can feel uncomfortable. But here’s the science: the more you reinforce new habits—like trusting yourself—the stronger those neural pathways become. Over time, making decisions that serve you will start to feel normal. Trust the process.
And of course, there’s self-doubt. Maybe you don’t fully trust yourself yet. Maybe you’ve made decisions in the past that didn’t turn out well, and you’re afraid of repeating those mistakes. That’s okay. Trust builds with consistency. The more you practice making choices from a place of clarity (not fear), the more confident you’ll become.
Feeling uncomfortable after making the right choice doesn’t mean it was the wrong one. It just means you’re stepping into a new way of being. And that? That’s growth.
Making Confident Decisions is a Process—Let’s Do It Together
Here’s the thing: making decisions with confidence isn’t about getting it “right” every time. It’s about developing the ability to trust yourself, even when you’re unsure. It’s about learning to navigate uncertainty without spiraling into overthinking.
But that’s not something most of us are taught.
Instead, we learn to distrust our own judgment—especially if we have perfectionist tendencies.
We second-guess every decision, afraid of making a mistake.
We obsess over outcomes, believing that one “wrong” choice will ruin everything.
We default to people-pleasing, making choices based on what will keep others happy rather than what’s truly right for us.
This cycle of overanalyzing, doubting, and hesitating keeps us stuck—not just in decision-making, but in life.
That’s exactly why I created Perfectionism to Peace, a 4-day challenge designed to help you break free from overthinking, trust yourself, and start making confident decisions (without the fear of getting it “wrong”). In just four days, you’ll:
✅ Learn how to recognize and silence the perfectionist fear that keeps you stuck
✅ Get practical tools to calm your nervous system so you can think clearly
✅ Connect with your intuition and learn to trust yourself again
✅ Take action with confidence—without obsessing over whether it’s “perfect”
Because confident decision-making isn’t about certainty—it’s about trust. And trust is something you build.
If you’re tired of overanalyzing, doubting yourself, and feeling frozen in indecision, I invite you to join me inside Perfectionism to Peace.
👉 Click here to start the 4-day challenge—and finally start making decisions with confidence and ease.
Because you don’t need another pro-con list.
You don’t need more information.
You don’t need to wait for certainty.
You just need to start trusting yourself again. And I’d love to help you do that. 💛
