Life as I know it is falling apart. 

I’ve always believed that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Well, I guess I’m ready for some major lessons, because life is kind of a bitch right now. 

Garrett and I have made the difficult decision to break our lease early and move out of the home we were so excited to get into. 

We’ll be downsizing massively and moving into an 800 square foot apartment that is literally a fifth of the size of the place we’re in now. 

On top of that, I’ll be stepping away from my PR business in search of greener pastures. 

Yeah. Ouch. 

Our plan was to live here for a few years until we were able to purchase a home of our own. 

But, apparently, life, (and the real estate market, and the PR industry) had other plans. 

Almost as soon as we moved into this house two and a half years ago, my PR business began to collapse. Within a year, I had lost over half of my income. 

Between the influx of new PR agencies and freelancers starting side hustles, increased competition, and the introduction of AI, budgets started getting cut and clients started demanding more for less. 

I was wildly unprepared, and to be honest, I was tired. I have hated my PR business for the entire 14 years I’ve owned it. The hustle culture. The competition. The pressure to be always-available. The unrealistic and unhealthy expectations. For the past few years the burnout and mental exhaustion has been nearly unbearable. 

The old version of me would have met these challenges in the market with a ‘hustle’ attitude, and new ideas. I would have put everything I had into repairing things. But, after years of running on the same, endless hamster wheel, I am over it. 

I don’t have any more left to give the PR industry, and I desperately want to move on to something better. Something I actually give a shit about, like writing, coaching, travel, or using my mental health background to do some good in the world. 

I’ve been putting on a facade, pretending things are okay,  and taking whatever business comes my way for the past two years. I knew things were bad, but I was too scared to do anything about it. But, I could also see the writings on the wall, so I started to dip my toes in the water of doing new things. Writing. Releasing a book. Starting my PhD.  I was testing things out, but not fully prepared to jump in. 

But a couple of months ago, I woke up one day and it dawned on me. This situation was not going to change. Things were going to continue to get worse. I knew in my heart that it was time to give up. 

It’s interesting to me, how our society over-glorifies the notion of persisting at all costs. 

“Never give up.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” 

But, I’ve come to realize that this mentality can be wildly unhealthy. After all, the very definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 

So I say, “if at first you don’t succeed, try again, and then maybe, try something else.”

I will always, always bet on myself, and I will always get back up when I’m knocked down. But, I’ve come to realize that some shit is totally worth walking away from. 

It’s just a matter of deciding what’s worth hanging onto, and what you need to let go of. And, figuring this out can be one hell of a painful process. 

After years of going through this process, Garrett and I have finally realized that our lives need a radical overhaul. It is time to move on, however painful and scary that may be. 

So, here we are. On the precipice of something new, and exciting, and sad, and really fucking scary. 

Moving to a much smaller place with 3 humans and 3 pets. (But, it’s two blocks from the beach, so that’s a huge perk). 

Walking away from a business I’ve put my blood, sweat, and tears into for the past 14 years. 

Starting several new businesses, and praying to the universe that they pan out. 

Revising our plans. 

And scariest of all, stripping away our old identities to become something new. 

“Successful business owner”

“CEO”

“PR Pro”

“Lady-who-lives-in-a-big-fancy-house” 

We’re in the process of a great purge. Stripping away all of the places, titles, and things that no longer align with who we want to be. 

But, identities and labels also give us a false sense of security, and when we don’t have them, all we’re left with is…ourselves. 

It’s beautiful, but it’s also vulnerable. I feel naked and exposed. 

It’s not so much the material things that I’ll miss (although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad about moving to a place with a bedroom that’s smaller than my current closet). It’s about the the grief of letting go of things I’ve worked so hard for. 

Leaving behind a place that has space for us to move freely and be ourselves. 

Walking away from a place that has room for Dominic to have friend sleepovers. 

Leaving behind a yard for Louis to play in. 

Walking away from the dreams I had for my business, and starting over. 

But, just like anything else in life, this transition isn’t all bad. Because with loss, comes new opportunities. New life. New possibilities. 

It’s about finding the courage to move forward. 

The relief of letting go of things that have become a huge burden. 

It’s about taking a chance on ourselves. 

It’s about giving ourselves permission to be exactly who we want to be. 

It’s about living in alignment.

So, for now, I’ll keep holding the tension between these two realities. 

And maybe, I’m just trying to make meaning out of a difficult situation, but I fully intend to turn this setback into something truly fucking spectacular. 

Because sometimes rock bottom is the foundation for building a really beautiful life.