There is a season for everything. 

For many years,  I’ve been in a season of retreat. Hibernation. Looking within. 

When I moved to San Diego five years ago, I was in the midst of major life upheaval. I had just gotten married, my relationship was in crisis, I had recently stopped drinking, and I had no fucking clue who I was. I was also clueless about how to navigate the dire situation I was in.  

I was in crisis, in a new location with a new husband and zero resources.  I was alone, and afraid, and without my coping mechanisms and support network. 

I was also in the midst of a major identity crisis. 

I was no longer the girl with crazy stories. The girl with a drink in her hand. The bossbabe that hides behind material success. 

I didn’t even want to be those things anymore. But, not having an identity was scary. 

It forced me to take a long hard look at myself. It forced me to strip away all the facades and look at what I was most afraid to look at – ME. 

It was long overdue. 

Through that process, I have learned so much about myself. Slowly, but surely, I’ve begun to figure out who I am. And for the first time in my life, I really like myself. 

But, as I said, there is a season for everything. 

The solitude and seclusion that was necessary for me to look within has started to become a purgatory. 

It’s no longer necessary for me to isolate myself, and the longer I continue to do it, the more I feel stuck. And trapped. 

I’m entering a new season and this one is just as scary. 

It’s time for me to go out in the world again. To make friends. To create new business ideas. To inspire. Engage. Adventure. 

But this new season poses new questions that I don’t yet have answers to. Questions that have kept me up at night seeking for answers. –  

I know who I am when I look within myself. I know who I am when I’m alone, in stillness. 

But, who am I to the world? 

How do I want to show up?

What gifts do I want to share with others?

I guess there’s only one way to find out…