If You’re Struggling to Set Boundaries, Read This

If you’re struggling to set boundaries, be patient with yourself.  Learning new things does not happen overnight. It takes practice, intention, and a whole lot of discomfort.  Learning to set boundaries is no different. It’s not something that just happens one day.  It’s a skill that’s often developed when we’ve had enough of being walked […]

To The Woman Who Has Lost Herself in Someone Else

To the woman who has lost herself in someone else, I see you.  I see your pain.  I see your  loneliness.  I see your confusion.  Because I was you. I too have been scared and confused. I too have allowed myself to become lost  in someone else’s chaos. I too have exhausted myself from fighting […]

Just Another Mid-Life Crisis

There is a season for everything.  For many years,  I’ve been in a season of retreat. Hibernation. Looking within.  When I moved to San Diego five years ago, I was in the midst of major life upheaval. I had just gotten married, my relationship was in crisis, I had recently stopped drinking, and I had […]

What Pop Psychology Gets Wrong About Mental Health

what pop psychology gets wrong

I’ve always been a big fan of self-awareness. Understanding myself better has been one of my biggest motivations for as long as I can remember. While I’d like to say that my love of psychoanalysis has just focused inward, I’d totally be lying! I can admit it – I love to psychoanalyze other people too. […]

The Paradox and Inevitability of Grief

Grief, much like life, is a paradox. Unexpected, but also inevitable.  It’s the uninvited adversary we never see coming, though we’re always acutely aware that its arrival may be just around the corner.   When it shows up on our doorstep, we’re shocked but never surprised.  Grief is inevitable for all of us. The loss of […]

If You’re Struggling This Mother’s Day, I See You

Mixed Emotions On Mother’s Day Aren’t As Uncommon As You Think Mother’s Day is a worthy cause for celebration. But, what about when it brings up mixed emotions?  For those of us lucky enough to have a good relationship with a mother who’s still alive, it’s often a day for connection and joy. A day […]

A Friendly Reminder That Tattoo Guns Don’t Have Spell Check

So, a girl walks into a bar… Okay, the girl was me. And it wasn’t a bar; it was a tattoo parlor.  Imagine the scene. It’s 2010, I’m 22 years old, and I had just got my first-ever tattoo only a week prior.  My objective? To get a full side tattoo of the serenity prayer.  […]

Ultra Independence – My Super Power, or a Response to Trauma?

Pop culture tries to sell us that ultra independence is cool and sexy. But the reality is human beings need connection and social support. Quite literally, we need a community to thrive and survive.  I’ve written graduate papers on the subject. I’ve touted the importance of social connection to my clients when I was providing […]

The Reality of Borderline Personality Disorder in a Relationship: A True Story

A couple dancing: True story of borderline personality disorder in a relationship

If you landed here, I’m guessing we have a few things in common… Maybe you Googled something along the lines of — “Borderline Personality Disorder in a relationship” “Does my partner have BPD?” Or maybe even, “Signs that I have BPD”. I’ve been there, done that. In 2019, my husband was diagnosed with Borderline Personality […]